Why do we hide so easily?
Fear of rejection.
Fear of judgment.
Fear of the consequences of honesty.
Fear of losing a relationship.

No decision made in fear is ever healthy.

I think it was Andy Stanley that said, “We fear the consequences of confession because we have yet to realize the...

It was the summer of 1996. Only four months into my twenty-first year of life and already so much life had been lived. Justin and I had barley passed the finish line into our first year of marriage when we became first time parents. In the span one year, we went from college life, to married...

Silence with God is a good thing. It is often in our silence that God speaks the loudest. We are even commanded in Scripture to “be still and know that He is God.” Our silence helps us feel God’s presence.

Silence from God is completely different. Silence...

A few days ago I was talking to a friend that just started dating a young lady. You could hear the excitement in his voice as he told me how they met; about the friends that had introduced them and his first impressions of her.

He told me where she was from, a little about her family and...

Spiritual growth isn’t easy. Spiritual growth as a couple is even more difficult. My wife, Trisha and I have spent more than twenty years in ministry. We are supposed to be professionals at spiritual growth and discipleship. Despite our bible college education, spiritual growth in our...

Most people don’t get married so they can be unhappy. Most people don’t stand in front of a church full of people and pledge their love for each other thinking they will be standing in a courtroom dividing their property and arguing over custody of their kids.

Most marriages just...

Last week Trisha was asked to write a guest post for Ed Stetzer and Christianity Today, and speak into the Ashley Madison hack/scandal. Many of you read this article and shared it with others.

A producer at CNN read the article and contacted Trish on Monday morning asking...

According to this study by the Barna Research group, 64% of Christian men regularly view pornography. Broken down by age, eight out of ten 18-30 year olds view porn monthly. Women aren’t exempt either, with about 30% of women consuming pornography monthly.

It’s not like...

A few times per year we host a small gathering of couples in Nashville for the RefineUs Weekend Experience. Our last weekend of 2015 was this past weekend. (New Dates for 2016 announced soon!) 

During a break, I was talking to one of the husbands and asked him what brought he and his...

A few weeks ago, Trish and I were signing books after a speaking engagement and a young guy handed me his book and began to shake my hand.

“I’m not married yet,” he said, “but I’m engaged to be married. What is the one avoidable mistake you see couples...

Over the past few weeks Trish and I have navigated a new season. Our oldest son Micah graduated from high school. It is such a weird feeling. While you’re never “done” as a parent, part of our role as parents graduated with him. I’ve never felt so sad, excited,...

When Trish and I started our first church in 2002, we had a lot of faith, very little money and even less people. I put together a business plan of what I thought was our budget and timeline and started meeting with as many people as I could, asking them to support this new church.

One morning I...

Over  the past couple of weeks Justin has been asking me to write for our blog. It’s a normal request since we’ve been blogging for several years now. And I’ve tried. With computer open, fingers ready, I’ve tried to put words together. Words of vulnerability and the...

No one gets married expecting failure. No bride stands in a chapel full of family and friends, imagining how much she will despise her spouse in ten years. No groom gazes into the eyes of his bride, daydreaming of one day glaring at her across the courtroom as they divide their assets. We...

Maybe you’re in a dry season right now. You are disappointed or discouraged or just don’t have much direction.

Embrace the dry season.

Here are 3 benefits to the dry season:

1. Life is quieter.

Most of the time, it’s not that God doesn’t speak to us, we are too busy to...

There are certain issues in your marriage that can’t be changed today. No matter how hard you try, some marriage improvements take time.  But these four choices we’re sharing with you today will instantly improve your marriage. Trisha and I have personally seen these...